I have watched her begin to trust me, and that trust is turning into LOVE. I'm no longer that crazy lady that comes to visit her and makes her laugh. Now, I get to be MOM. I truly believe that the yearn and NEED for a mother/mothering is born within each of us. Even many orphans display this "lack of" by rocking back and forth to sooth and comfort themselves. They KNOW that someone is supposed to be doing that deep down inside, so they do it for themselves (not knowing why, just that it comforts them) BEFORE...when I would see "rocking" exhibited on TV or movie etc.. I would think "crazy"....not anymore. No matter what age a person is, when things are not "right" you can see them "rocking." Everyone needs that motherly contact. That reassurance that it will all be okay. It all makes so much sense now. I have seen a different Mila the past 2 days. I have seen a different ME. I have had the pleasure of watching a little girl's eyes change before me. Well, not her eyes, but what is behind them. I always knew she liked me, but to watch and FEEL that "like" turn deeper...into a "LOVE" is truly unexplainable. I will never be able to explain what it feels like. I find myself holding her like a baby and rocking her while I rub her cheeks and she just smile a pure smile of comfort, probably for the first time in her entire life. She smiles a different smile, a more genuine smile. I'm finding out her quirks, and her likes and dislikes. I talk to her and narrate all day long (narrate is my fun way of saying I talk to
After adopting from an orphanage, and spending 24 hours a day you start to notice their "coping behaviors." Some rock, some bite themselves, some bang their heads gently on things, some NOT so gently. There are many different soothing methods they teach themselves. I have been prepared for whatever it may be. Well...I figured Mila's out. She made friends with her left foot! I know, I know it sounds so strange, but seriously!!! She sucks her tongue when she is tired (which, my Hope did also.) At night the first 2 nights she slept with us. I tried to cover her up and she was almost distressed, quickly ripping the covers off of her left foot. Then she would bring her foot up to her face and love on it. It occurred to me momentarily that this might be what she was doing, then I dismissed it...that is just way weird. Well I kept noticing this bond, especially when laying or when she was tired with her left foot. She seemed to show "lefty" her stuffed animals...her snacks....toys...then she tried to feed "lefty" some of her sippy and I knew it! This was her "not so imaginary" friend.
Over the last 24 hour we have had this amazing mother daughter bonding. I haven't noticed much of "lefty" today. As funny/weird as it sounds.....Once you think about it...it totally makes sense for a baby struggling for comfort to come up with..pretty smart if you ask me!!!
That brings me to my next point. This sweet little angel SOMEHOW is 100% mine, DNA and all...not because of the physical characteristics that DNA gives you, but because.....you see, for some unknown reason...... my husband's DNA and my DNA ..together....concoct a very special, rare form of weirdo. all my kids have it. There really is no other explanation.
I also believe that the "weird" gene is contained within the 21st chromosome. So...given all this scientific information, imagine what happens when that 21st chromosome is TRIPLICATED!!! Well, I'll just show you what happens
Soooo......how in the WORLD my husband's DNA and my DNA got mixed together and inserted INSIDE some Russian lady thousands of miles away is BEYOND me!!!! I just cant believe in this HUGE world we live in, it only took me 2 years to find her! That was a tricky little game God played on us:) Kinda like Where's Waldo...but not.
These two are definitely sisters from another mister, and I cannot wait to get her home!!!
By the way...That 21st chromosome may contain the "weird" gene, but it also contains the LOVE gene, and the funny gene, and the sweet gene and I'm sad to say....
The MESSY gene!!!!
I know what you're all thinking right now......"Luckeeeeeeeey"